He Rests in Peace. I'm so sorry, Ben Ben.

Ben
2005 - September 17, 2009

It was a tough night. We went for pizza and toasted Ben. We then went for a walk for Ben. I could never understand how people could go for walks without a dog because I have always, it seems, walked with a dog. So, that was sad. I awoke after midnight and sat on the stairs and sobbed. No barks or growly sounds as Ben used to lay his head down. No boy to have me to go down to comfort him to sleep. Don and I talked and talked. For some reason, I keep expecting Ben to find his way back home. Crazy.

My Ben Ben is gone. I am so sorry that this had to happen to him by no fault of his own. I couldn't say sorry to him enough as he lay there. My big, goofy Ben Ben.

I will say again that breeders and owners are supposed to prepare their dogs for the world, for civilization and not to leave them to their own devices and starve them. It is our responsibility to look after them and give them the best possible chance at a wonderful life in our world.

The house is so empty now. So quiet. I feel at such a loss. No more walking him in the morning or after work. No more training. No more feeding 3 and 4 times a day. No more night walks or trips to the fields. He's not here when we come home, no head peaking around the wall, waiting to be fed. No more trips to the cottage with him. No more slobbers and goober on my clothes and everyone else's. I came to love those goobers. He loved his tummy rubbed and to cuddle. He even came to like boat rides, on occasion. It's hard to believe he's gone.

I have a wide assortment of treats of different value levels left that I had purchased for resource training. I was ready to roll and continue on with Lynn's help until the attack on Don. We then had to sit back and think hard. Even after that, Don wanted to try the vet behavourist to get her take on it. Could Ben be fixed? He's some crazy guy who loved Ben. As time crawled along, we both realized it was really time to keep everyone safe. Don didn't care how many times he was bitten, but it was other people for whom we had to worry.

Ben, my bigger than life Pyr. I always knew you were there. And now I know you're gone and I'll miss you so so much. Be good my Goob. You'll always be with me.